wow.a lot to swallow right now.everything seems to be so hard....and complicated.are people making things harder than they need to be?or are they getting curve balls thrown at them they cant dodge?its all just something id much rather miss.something that makes me wish i was younger and there werent any problems.when i wasnt able to understand just about everything that was going on whether i was told or not.i dont really want things easy.maybe just more simpler....or stress free?i wish for all sorts of things.i feel crazy.i feel crazier that i dont wish anything for myself.i dont like being selfish or mean.i know i can sound selfish and i can be mean but i dont like it.i dont like the fighting,the argueing,the back stabbing, the name calling,....i dont like any of it.i dont like losing people very close to me either :( i found out today that one of my best friends i've known since 5th grade....is leaving.i understand her reasons why and no matter what she's gonna always be like a sister to me and im always gonna love her.i wish she didnt have to go through what shes going through.she doesnt deserve it.she needs to be happy.THATS what she deserves.she deserves the absolute best and so does my other sister i've known since 3rd grade.they both mean the world to me and to watch either of them leave me and to see them both hurting makes me so sad :( i know im gonna keep them in my life as best i can.now and forever they shall be my unbiological sisters <3 i shall always love them and i shall always be there for them.i wish i was able to not let anything hurt them but i've failed at that.soo much going on....its all just swarming my head and i feel like im drowning.i sound pathetic but im upset.im upset and lost and just not sure what to do anymore.
stephanie hamlin and sara fletcher this blog is dedicated to you both.
i love you girls <3 thank you for everything.im always gonna be here for you both.
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